


Frostbite

by Ywanie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst, Blow Jobs, Drunk Sex, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sex Addiction, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-09 11:24:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ywanie/pseuds/Ywanie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is struggling with the sex addiction that controls his life, leaving him depressed and frustrated. On top of everything he's feeling a growing affection and sexual attraction toward his best friend, Louis. But it's surely because of his addiction, right? </p><p>Right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so nervous about posting this here, but I'm doing it anyway! I'm having too much fun writing this to let it go unseen! x
> 
>  

**The Prologue**

Cold December air met Harry Styles’ face as he opened the balcony door and lit a cigarette. It was no habit of his, but as he inhaled it and it filled his lungs he couldn’t help but wonder why not. His already heavy eyes went shut for a few short seconds before he opened his eyes and watched as smoke was exhaled and stolen by the cold wind.

Harry’s cock was already reacting to the anticipation he was filled with. He’d had no sort of release in six hours, not even a single wank. That had to be a personal record.

When half the cigarette had turned into ashes and disappeared over the railing, Harry threw a glance in through the window, landing on the clock on the wall. Four minutes to go. He stomped the cigarette against the wall and threw it away before reentering his hotel room.

The bottle of red wine on the table was half empty, but those two and a half glasses was exactly what he needed to calm his nerves. This room was rented for the sole purpose of the following meeting. Harry needed it to be able to continue sharing his apartment with Louis without exploding.

He was relaxed as he heard a knock on the door. He was already on his feet, but stood still for a few moments, just to hide his desperation. Even when he came to the door, he stood there for a moment, before opening the door.

Before his eyes were a Swedish blonde ready to fulfill his needs. This was his last resort.  
“You look just like in your ad,” Harry commented before opening the door and let the girl in, eyeing her undoubtedly fake breasts as she passed her.  
“Of course I do, Harry Styles,” she replied, emphasizing his last name, as if to make it known that she recognized him.

The Swede was his fourth escort girl this week. Harry had reached a point where paying for sex felt more private than hooking up with some random girl he’d hate afterwards. Because he did, every single time. The second his orgasm bliss had passed, he wanted to throw up at the slut next to him in the bed. Or in the bathroom stall, dark closet or maybe shower. In his opinion they were all nasty sluts who fucked him just for the fame. With hookers they fucked him for the money and wanted to get away as soon as they were paid.

“Let’s get to it, baby,” the petite Swede said as she shoved Harry down on the bed and fell to her knees in front of him. No need to chat, she was paid to give him an orgasm and nothing else.

Harry started unbuckling his belt when he felt a warm hand over his and looked down on a face with deep blue eyes and a sensuous smile playing over her lips.  
“Let me do the work, mister,” she murmured and Harry’s hands retreated in response.

Harry’s pants met his ankles fairly quick, and a carefully manicured hand massaged the bulge in his grey boxers. He closed his eyes and his body was immediately reacting to the touch.  
“W-what was your name again?” He stuttered out in a whisper. He knew, oh he knew very well, but he just wanted to hear her say it before taking his cock into her dirty little mouth.  
“Louise.”


	2. Chapter one

It took no less than two seconds after Harry opened the front door to his and his best friend’s apartment, before Louis showed up in the hallway in nothing but sweatpants riding low on his hips. His hair was messy as if he had been rolling around half asleep on the couch (which he had), and he had a tired gaze that somehow to oozed of sex (which they really didn’t).  
  
“That was one long fucking walk,” Louis murmured in a sleepy voice. He was clearly irritated, but Harry hardly noticed because he was so distracted by the half naked body in front of him. It didn’t really matter either; Louis rarely could stay in a bad mood for too long.  
“I needed to clear my mind,” Harry replied after licking is lower lip. Any lies about where he had been were better than the truth. But in retrospect, saying he was going for a walk when he rented a room at a nearby hotel to get a shag… probably not the best excuse. After all, the difference in expected use of time between taking a walk and renting a hooker for an hour… it was definitely there.  
  
“You missed dinner.” It seemed like Louis had wanted to state that for the last two hours, because the second the words were out, he took a step back and pirouetted towards the living room, as if the conversation was over.  
“Don’t come here and tell me you made dinner,” Harry said with a humorless laugh as he stepped after Louis. He put a cold hand on the shoulder in front of him and turned it back around, realizing just then how close he all of a sudden was to Louis.  
  
“I sure as hell did, your plate is on the kitchen counter.” Louis gaze met Harry’s eyes and almost made him shiver, forcing him to look away to regain himself.  
“Just because you take Chinese food out of a box and put it on a plate, it doesn’t qualify as cooking.”   
  
Harry pushed Louis away, partly because they were too close right now and partly because he was letting the bad mood he so often suffered from after sex out on his best friend. Louis answered by laughing, which luckily disarmed what could have turned in to a bad fight. Then again, everything with Harry was a possible fight these days, and Louis was an expert on handling it.  
  
“I can’t cook for shit,” Louis said as if Harry didn’t know already. He returned to the couch and pulled a blanket around himself before Harry sat down beside him.  
“No, you can’t. Nor can you clean, do laundry, take care of your economic responsibilities or switch of the lights when you leave the room… why do I even let you live here?”  
  
“You don’t switch off the lights either!” Louis kicked Harry’s thigh and had a playful grin across his face, for a moment feeling like the king of this conversation… sadly not for long, though  
“But I pay the electricity bill,” Harry said and winked at Louis because he was so obviously winning this little debate right now.  
  
“You love me,” Louis replied, as an answer to the original question, before he got up on his feet and disappeared into the kitchen just to demonstrate for Harry exactly why he should give his best friend some love today. From the living room, Harry could hear the microwave go on.  
“And I have a great sense of humor; it would be so boring and sad here without me!” Well, Harry had to admit, that was probably true.  Louis was his main source of what little happiness in his life right now.  
  
What Louis failed to mention while bragging about himself, was his amazingly hot little body, his absolutely delicious abs and sexy hair. Not to mention his tight little ass that Harry was ready to pound into any time! And with that mental image, Harry let out a loud sigh, and pushed his hand down in his crotch as if to say “stay down, boy”… sadly the touching didn’t really seem to help.  
  
Harry was filled with a mixture of feelings, leaving him nauseated. His fright for ruining anything with Louis and his guilt for involuntarily half-fantasizing about his best friends… He just couldn’t control his thoughts that just wandered off.  
  
As Harry got up on his feet, Louis came out of the kitchen with a plate.  
“Where are you going, I just warmed your dinner!” Louis stood there like a real housewife ready to pleasure his husband. Except not the pleasuring Harry needed.  
  
“I’m off to bed, not so hungry.” That honestly just felt like the second bad excuse this night. Probably because it was. Louis expressed his slight despair by dragging his hand through his hair, looking like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. His eyes just glanced from Harry’s face and down on the food, seemingly disappointed  
“Okay.”  
  
With that, Harry went to his bedroom and closed the door behind him. For a moment he just stood there in the dark, looking out into the room. His bed was made up, his room was clean, and he had even picked up his dirty laundry from the corner of the bed room earlier that day. There was no reason why Harry was going to sleep alone tonight.  
  
When he went to the hotel room rather than his own bedroom, it was a decision based on 1) he was paying a prostitute he found online for sex, and 2) he didn’t want Louis to be bothered or ask questions. Oh, and he wasn’t exactly eager about giving up his address to a stranger like that. Right now, though, all kinds of rational thinking were non-existing, considering the state of need Harry almost constantly found himself in right now (and almost constantly. It was pretty amazing that he had any moments of rational thinking at all).  
  
Harry took a few steps into the room without switching on the light, before he fell backwards on the bed and closed his eyes, letting his mind wander along with his hand. He put in a real effort as he tried to replace the blame of his growing erection, pushing Louis out of his thoughts. Pushing out how he had welcomed him half naked, pushing out how his delicious chest rose and sank calmly and how his sweatpants was hanging so low, Harry could only imagine his trimmed pubic hair only half an inch away from the waistband.  
“Fuck.”  
  
Harry had his hand down his boxers, his hard cock pressing against his palm when he realized he had no chance driving Louis out of his head alone. Admitting that, Harry took his free hand down his front pocket to find his phone, opened recently dialed numbers and clicked on the one on the top.  
  
“Hey, you’re speaking with Louise! How may I please you?” Her sweet, sweet voice had such a playful tone, and _man_ she was ready to please. He already established that earlier that night.  
“Hey… it’s Gilbert.”  
  
A small  and ever so charming laugh on the other end of the line was audible now, which made Harry smile if ever so slightly. Louise was so easy going, making this whole experience with her so much easier. Harry was glad she remembered what he presented himself as when he had called her a couple of hours earlier, even though it in reality wasn’t really hard to forget. After all, even he himself found it to be an awfully ugly name  
“Harry Styles,” she murmured in a lot more sexy voice than her hello-voice. Just to even more clearly state the fact that she yes indeed was fully aware of the fact that this Mr. Gilbert from earlier that night was the famous singer of a boy band.  
  
“Are you free for the night?” Harry relaxed a little more, didn’t even give this idea a second thought, even though everything about it was unusual: A hooker to his home apartment? Never. Going for a second round with the same girl? Well, saying never to that one would be a bit of a stretch, but ever since his little problem started to really dig deep into him and he felt nauseated by little sluts after fucking them… then never.   
  
“Harry, I left your hotel room just fifty minutes ago,” Louise pointed out. Harry wasn’t quite so comfortable when she used his name in a conversation like that, but I didn’t comment on it.  
“Fifty-eight minutes actually,” Harry corrected in a matter-of-factly tone as he started stroking his cock carefully.  
  
“And you were done after 45 minutes when I paid for an hour.” Not that Harry cared much; he had gotten what he had asked for in those 45 minutes.  
“Are you asking me to give you the last fifteen?” Louise’s smile was impossible to not hear in her sensual voice.  
“I am asking you for that “all night” offer of yours, Louise. I’ll even pay extra for being so short notice, if you get here in twenty minutes.”  
  
A four minute chat from there, where Harry gave his address to a stranger and felt the efficiency of this unknown girl in regards to the whole Louis situation. Luckily a situation Louis stayed in the dark about.  
  
“Okay, okay,” Louise said when Harry explained how she had to act and what she had to do and what to say if Louis asked any questions. Harry had a feeling this would be the bad excuse number three of the night, if Louis was still up when Louise arrived. “She’s a friend of the family” didn’t really explain why she went straight for his bedroom or why Louis probably would be able to hear them during the sex. But Harry was horny and thinking with his dick right now, so he didn’t really care.  
  
“I’ll be there in 20, Harry.”  
“Don’t use my name like that.” Harry finally got a chance to say that, after it had bothered him throughout the whole conversation.  
“Mr. Styles, then?” Louise asked playfully, but it wasn’t particularly well received with Harry.  
“No.”  
“Okay, Gilbert. I gotta freshen up before I come over so I must hang up. Be ready for me, goodbye honey.”  
  
And with that, Louise hung up and Harry was left waiting with nothing to distract his mind for twenty minutes. Twenty whole fucking minutes that felt like an eternity.  
  
But they passed, and by the time Harry heard the doorbell, he was sporting a raging hard on and was ready to take Louise into his bedroom. Harry was as ready as ever to show this girl a good time, maybe even fuck her into a discount agreement for the next appointment. The fact that the thought even briefly entered his head scared him; a “next appointment”.  
  
Harry was quickly on his feet and on his way towards the door, wanting to get there before Louis. As he speeded past the living room, Louis fell back on the couch. It seemed like he was about to get the door, but changed his mind when Harry was on his way to do the same.  
  
He opened the door and was met by a wide, playful smile and eyes that examined him and rested for a little moment on the pretty obvious boner in his pants.  
  
“Hi,” Harry said as casually as possible in case Louis could hear them. He stepped back and let her in. Her lips were painted red and her eyes contoured by perfectly laid black eyeliner on the upper eyelid. She looked even more sexy right now than earlier this evening.  
  
“Play along,” Harry mimed to Louise when her shoes were off and he grabbed her hand carefully. When they walked further into the house, Harry’s eyes met Louis’ curious gaze, and Harry gave him an innocent, polite smile. He was just Happy Louise didn’t have to say anything.  
  
“I’m helping out a friend who didn’t have anywhere to stay for the night. Don’t mind us.” Just go back to watching TV, or put on some headphones in case this is getting a bit loud. Harry seriously considered adding it, but was stopped as he and Louise quickly had passed the living room and was stumbling into the bedroom.  
  
The door slammed shut, and no less than half a second, Louise was pressed up against the wall in a greedy kiss leaving the poor girl breathless. Harry could not contain himself in this state. He was so driven with his overwhelming lust, which was no secret with the rocking hard boner poking Louise.  
  
Louise, after all a great hooker, didn’t take long to get infected by the same lust Harry was possessed by. Their kiss was broken for a few sloppy seconds while clothes were thrown away. When their lips once again crashed into each other, it was skin against skin. Louise naked breasts were pressed into Harry’s chest and it was barely space between them.  
  
Harry reached under Louise’s skirt and was prepared to remove the same kind of lace panties he had nearly ripped off her earlier. But his fingers hit naked skin. He broke the kiss and smiled.  
“Oh, you naughty girl,” he murmured, his words almost a little bit slurred from the intense lust he was filled with.  
  
“Don’t act like you don’t like it,” she replied as she was unbuckling his belt and just shoving the jeans and boxers to his knees.  
“I have no intention of acting like that,” Harry said while pushing a finger inside of her, just then realizing just how wet she was. As he pulled it out and returned inside of her with two fingers, she was throwing her head back in a gasp.  
  
“I don’t think you need any warming up, baby.” Harry withdrew his fingers completely and put his hand with two wet fingers on her thigh and lifted one leg off the floor before pointed his begging cock against her entrance. Louise put her leg around him and thrust her hips forward enough for him to almost unexpectedly slide inside her.  
  
Harry had to bite his lip to keep quiet as he slowly started moving in and out of the hooker while pressing her up against the wall. He almost held her whole weight up but hardly noticed because the sex was so consuming.  
  
Louise’s low whimpers of pleasure reached Harry’s ear and he pounded into her even faster, before he grabbed her other leg and lifted her completely off the floor, spun around and almost threw her down on the bed and removed her skirt before once again entering her dripping pussy.  
  
Harry wasn’t much of a missionary guy, but for a moment his uncomfortable feelings regarding close face-to-face was forgotten. It was something about Louise, it felt so easy and even her eyes gleamed with “no strings attached” and “there’s nothing serious here”.  
  
Harry cupped her fake breast with one hand, and put the other one over her mouth before he speeded up, feeling her muscles tightening around him and making it even better.  
“You’re so tight,” he breathed out as he fucked this little slut of his so hard, only getting muffled moans in reply.  
  
After a while, Harry’s clothes had all ended on the floor. He had fucked Louise with her legs up on his shoulders and now he was taking her from behind. Any considerations toward Louis in the next room were long gone, and not even Harry could contain his sounds of pleasure. He was actually unusually loud right now as he held Louise’s hair and pulled her head back from behind, reaching his hand around her. His pace had slowed into long, deep thrusts as he massaged her clitoris.  
  
It didn’t take long before Louise was nearly shaking from his touch, her pussy clenching around his cock and she nearly screamed out as she came hard. It didn’t matter to Harry, though. He was going to pay for a whole night and was still hard.  
  
For the first time that day, Harry rolled around and could finally be where he belonged; underneath a sexy lady like Louise.  
“Ride my dick until I come, baby,” he said in a hoarse voice. His hands found her hips and he started moving them, just to get her started.  
  
Obedient as she was, Louise started rolling her hips over his cock. Harry did nothing but enjoy the view of her tits bounce from her movement, moaning from the pure pleasure he was experiencing. How could it be such a bad thing as an addiction when it was this fucking good!? There was no answer to that question.  
  
“I’m so close, babe… a little bit faster, come on! Ride that thing, girl!” Auto pilot was turned on as Harry spoke to Louise, and she obeyed while smiling down to him. Her lipstick was faded away, leaving stains both in his pillow and on his lips.  
  
“Ju- yeah, ahhh, yeah baby!” Harry moaned out as his hips started meeting hers. He was just moments away, could feel the orgasm building up inside him, his balls tightening.  
“Yes! Louise, Louise… ah, Lou- Lou-…” He came so hard and for so long that he was seeing stars, and still he noticed to his great horror, what came out of his mouth.  
“Lou- Louis…” Luckily for him, it went unnoticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone could beta read for me I'm reachable on www.ywanie.tumblr.com/ask. :)


	3. Chapter two

Harry woke up alone after just a few hours of sleep, something that came as a pleasant surprise. After fucking Louise once, he went on for a second round… and a third one. Yes, it took him four orgasms in one day from this girl to even get him a remote feeling of nausea. That was probably the best compliment he could give a girl lately, and the strange part was that Harry was convinced it would pass. He would surely contact Louise again. Maybe it was because she was so professional. He liked it like that, because it felt like strictly business. No cuddles or sweet words, no heartfelt lovemaking. The only sticky mess was what their bodies created together.   
  
Another pleasant surprise appeared when Harry sat up in bed and noticed a small note on the pillow beside him. It made him smile, and when he read the note, his smile grew into more of a grin. And even though this was more “lunch break on work” than strictly business, she still managed to not overstep any lines.   
  
_“Morning, Gil!  
Last night was on me, congrats on giving me my first orgasm while working, ever! Call me anytime for some fun, you got my number. xoxo Louise”  
  
_ It would be no understatement to say that Harry found the fact that Louise actually called him Gilbert (well, nick named him Gil apparently) amusing. He even chuckled a little while reading. Maybe that was part of what created the distance between them and made this sexual relation bearable. He was honestly a bit curious about how long he could keep that up.  
  
Harry yawned, before he just threw the little note to the floor and got out of bed. A few hours of sleep were not nearly enough to keep him from feeling well rested, but he’d rather do a powernap later than stay in bed all day. All the touring and travelling already messed his sleeping pattern up most of the year, so he couldn’t allow that for his time off.  
  
A third pleasant surprise met Harry after he’d put on some clothes and opened his bedroom door and an undeniable smell of take-away pizza hit him right in the face. Someone was obviously more of a morning bird today than he was.   
“Lou? Are you awake?”   
  
Harry followed the sound of Louis voice, even though it was impossible to hear what he said. When he entered the kitchen he understood why. His best friend’s mouth was so filled with fresh pizza that it was hardly closable. It was just something about pizza that made Louis lose all his manners and really tried to dig in.    
  
“Not saving any for me?” Well, Harry wasn’t really worried that Louis would eat it all up, he just tried to force Louis to invite him to sit down and eat. It worked wonderfully; Louis just nodded to the chair on the other side of the table. No hesitation was needed before Harry was sitting down and almost choked himself with a slice of pizza himself. After all, he had skipped a meal last night, and at some point during the night with Louise he had started to regret that decision.   
  
“I wasn’t expecting you up this early,” Louis said after he was done chewing, which had taken a while. Harry didn’t understand what he meant straight away. Actually, it took several moments, and by the time Harry realized just how aware Louis was about his lacking of sleep he was done chewing and could answer straight away.   
“Oh.” Or express his lack of answer, because sadly that was all he had to say about the matter. This wasn’t a very pleasant topic to bring up around the breakfast table.   
  
“Holy shit, did I just make the great Harry Styles blush?” Louis teased, which made Harry kick him under the table.   
“You did not!” He was not blushing at all! Well, almost no blushing, anyway! Just a slight tint of pink, but it wasn’t the fact that Louis had heard him (they lived together; it wasn’t like it was the first time). It was just… for some unknown reason, Harry felt uncomfortable, but not embarrassed. All of a sudden, it was like he didn’t want Louis to know that he slept with anyone. Particularly when that “anyone” was a Swedish hooker he had paid to help out with his little problem.  
  
Harry had as of lately been experiencing a feeling that previously had been completely unknown for him. And that feeling was the shame creeping in under his skin. His shameful need for release, his new affection for Louis and all of the sudden the fact that he had bought sexual services made him feel a bit uneasy. Even though it wasn’t the first time.   
  
Harry heard Louis saying something, but his words didn’t come through to him at first, the world went silent for a while.  
  
“Harry, hello, answer me!” Louis’ voice finally went through to Harry and he lifted his gaze to meet Louis’ eyes. He had been spacing out for a moment there, lost in his own thoughts.   
“Did you say anything?”  
  
Silence. Louis gave Harry a bit of an annoyed grimace that Harry recognized so well. Louis needed the attention, and was always a bit offended when he didn’t get it.   
“I’m so happy you’re not a dog,” Harry mumbled when thinking how craving and clingy he would have been as a little pet. But on the other hand, maybe he would sleep by the bed or even in the end of the bed, warming his feet on cold nights. On a second thought, maybe Harry wouldn’t mind so much if Louis were a dog after all.   
  
“Do I have to repeat my question, Mr Styles?” Louis ignored the dog comment, and that was probably for the best. He still seemed quite annoyed, but it would surely pass on its own like usual.   
“You must most certainly do so, Mr Tomlinson,” Harry said, mirroring Louis way of speaking now when he was slightly pissed off.  It was honestly almost a bit charming.  
  
“Are you showering first?” Louis asked.   
“Are we out of hot water when it’s my turn if I say no?” Harry was significantly faster in the shower than Louis was. They both knew that.   
“Yes,” Louis confirmed, and that pretty much determined who would be showering first. Harry wasn’t up for a cold shower right now. Well, it probably would be more helpful than harmful, but nothing was like a good, hot shower in the morning.  
“Then you know the answer for that question, Lou.”  
  
Harry continued eating in silence, watched Louis carefully as he also ate. It was a done deal, nothing more needed to be said. Harry would shower first and Louis would then use the remaining hot water. Louis would take a steaming hot shower, soaping up his lean body, let his hand slide down his chest. Maybe he would be leaning against the wall, maybe his feminine hand would wrap around his own growing cock. Sliding it over the sensitive skin, wanking slowly to something that really turned him on, made his head spin. Maybe his lips would be parted, if only barely. His tongue quickly moving over his lips and soft moans of pleasure would escape…   
  
The very second Harry realized his breathing had become significantly heavier and he felt his own cock twitch in his pants, he got up and almost stumbled away from the table and hurried out of the kitchen. He left a half eaten pizza slice lying right there on the table.  
   
“Har-“  
“I’m gonna take a shower,” Harry shouted while undressing on his way to the bathroom. There was no reason to delay it when the meal was over anyway (well, it was now anyway). He’d rather say the quicker the better at this point, when he was unable to control his thoughts anyway. Even when he tried to stop it, they always found a way into a well known sexual path where the only return was available with a jerk off.   
  
Harry was stroking himself before he even got under the water. His pants were around his ankles and he had one hand on the sink for support, biting down on his full bottom lip. His shame was, if not long gone, on a break as he let his fantasies of Louis in the shower play through his mind.   
  
Harry stepped out of his pants and into the shower, turned the water on while he played with himself. Cold water hit him for a moment before the temperature rose, but he didn’t step away, he was too lost in his own fantasy and need. He wanted to press Louis up against the wall, he wanted to have their erect cocks against each other, grind himself towards that slim little body of Louis’.   
  
This was the first time Harry actually went through with the fantasizing of Louis. It was the first time he actually imagined their bodies pressed up against each other, passionately kissing and touching everywhere. Before this, he had never really thought about gay sex. But how could fucking someone with a bubble butt like Louis’ be anything but mind blowing? Mind blowing as in he would probably lose his mind over that delicious piece of holy ass.  
  
His hand moved faster and faster as he got closer to the edge. Considering he had fucked a girl just a few hours ago, the thought of Louis brought him to an orgasm unbelievably quick. His knees trembled a little as he came, biting harder down on his bottom lip to stay quiet. One thing was Louis hearing him and a girl, but him alone in the shower while thinking of his best friend? He’d rather stay quiet.   
  
When shampooing his hair, Harry felt much more relaxed than at the breakfast table. It was just another orgasm he needed to calm himself down. It was the perfect medicine for any tension in is body. Everything always felt better after a quick wank or a random fuck, and his little Louis fantasy really helped big time.   
  
By the time he stepped out of the shower, he realized just how tired he actually was. After all, the sex filled night with Louise didn’t exactly bring too much sleep. After drying off and putting on a clean pair of underwear, he decided that a powernap on the couch was just the thing he needed right now.   
  
“Bathroom’s free!” Harry shouted as he walked through the door and into the living room, not encountering Louis at all on his way. He almost fell down on the couch and pulled a blanket over himself. If Harry had been counting sheep, he wouldn’t even have passed ten before falling to sleep.  
  
  
Harry shifted on the couch and awoke from the pain. A groan of pain escaped from him as he shifted again to look at the clock hanging on the wall. He had slept for almost two full hours, a deep sleep that, if nothing else, did make him more rested than any sex filled night ever could. Hopefully this wouldn’t completely ruin his night sleep.   
  
He must have slept in a bad position, because pain had settled in both his neck and his back. Harry tried to carefully sit up. The pain was in no way unbearable, his pain tolerance was pretty high. Yet it was uncomfortable to say it at least, and he didn’t really feel very up for it right now. Just as carefully as he sat up, he was now lying down again, grunting and groaning in annoyance and pain.   
  
“What is this I am hearing?” Louis came from out of nowhere (not really, Harry just didn’t know where he came from, but it was either the kitchen or his bedroom). He showed up by the couch, smiling as if he didn’t have a worry in the world.   
“The intense snoring that chased me into my own bedroom is now replaced with… certainly not snoring!” He laughed lightheartedly as he revealed where he showed up from.   
  
Louis grabbed both of Harry’s legs with the intention of shoving them aside and get some room on the couch, but he quickly read Harry’s face and concluded that it was a bad idea and let go of them. Oh, how Harry appreciated that they were such close friends that he could recognize his pain so easily even when he tried to hide it.  
“What’s the problem?”   
  
Harry slid slightly further in on the couch, trying his best (and failing) at making room for Louis to sit down even though he was lying there and taking up the whole seating.   
“I don’t think I slept too well.” Harry grunted, obviously not very pleased by the results of his power nap. This was not what he was trying to get.   
“I think you slept too damn well, judging by that little snoring session of yours!”  
  
Harry ignored his pain and kicked after Louis, but he was too far away to actually accomplish anything by that movement.   
“That’s not what I meant! I’ve got back pains from hell now because this couch sucks and you refuse to let me throw it out and buy a new one!” That was not really true, and as usual Louis ignored it. He just smiled brightly at Harry.   
“Want some help?” He lifted both his hands.   
“I’m very good with my hands, I can give you a little massage and try to relieve you from some pain.”   
  
Very good with his hands… well, those words didn’t really help much at all. If anything, it put Harry in a major inner conflict. Did he even want to know just how good Louis was with his hands? Even if it made his back better, would it be possible that it could cause more harm than good? Considering that just a few hours earlier, he had pretty much fled the scene when he accidentally was fantasizing about Louis around the breakfast table, it didn’t really sound like a good idea.  
  
“Yeah, sure,” Harry said, ignoring every danger sign flashing in his mind at that very moment. And the flashing signs were not few, to put it like that.  He knew very well it wasn’t a very good idea, but he couldn’t say no to the very tempting offer he was getting right now. It was better to regret something he had done, rather than something he didn’t do. There’s a saying going somewhere along the lines of that, yes?  
  
“You wanna take it here, or in the bedroom?” Louis’ innocent words were not translated innocent in Harry’s mind. He’d love to take _it_ here. Then in the bedroom, before moving to the bathroom. Maybe the kitchen too, or the balcony. Probably both. Harry would love Louis’ touch anywhere at any time of the day.  But no… no, he didn’t want that at all. That was just the uncontrollable addiction speaking. All he wanted was a massage to relieve some of his back- and neck pains. That was all, nothing more. A platonic back rub existed.  
  
“Here is fine,” Harry mumbled without really realizing what he was going along with right now. Louis left the room for about five seconds, and when he returned he jumped right up on top of Harry’s ass. Harry himself was lying face down on the couch with Louis now sitting on top of him. This was just great. This was absolutely one hundred percent _great._  
  
Click. Harry could hear Louis open something, figured it was some kind of massage oil that was laying around. Then he heard hands rubbing together, before they touched his naked and sore back. Warm, oily hands that could easily slide over his back. And the smell was absolutely amazing. It smelled like a cross between flowers during the summer and something warm and oriental. It was a great smell. Who would have known Louis actually had stuff like this?  
  
For a moment Harry was afraid this massage would be too erotic, afraid his cock wouldn’t behave. Luckily, when he moaned out, it was in no way sexual. It was rather painful, and he had definitely underestimated the muscles in Louis’ hands.   
  
Harry couldn’t contain himself. As Louis’ touched him, massaged him, almost hit his sore back, he moaned loudly from both pleasure and pain… well, mostly pain. Louis didn’t comment on it at all though, something Harry was very grateful about. It was just so… so damn painful. And pleasurable at the same time. On the bright side, Louis did definitely know what he was doing, putting just the right pressure on the right area of his back.   
  
Five minutes passed. Five painful, almost unbearable minutes. After that, Harry had silenced and Louis no longer put so much pressure into the massage. It was comfortable now. Harry ignored his boner that was pressing into the couch. His bottom lip was pressed between his teeth, because he could no longer make a sound. Any sound that did not come from pain, came from pleasure. And right now he didn’t want to reveal just how good this was.   
  
The massage wasn’t really the worst part. Or rather the best part. No, Louis was moving on top of his ass as he was massaging him; an accidental grinding movement that also made Harry move ever so lightly. That little friction against the couch… if Harry hadn’t been too busy enjoying this scenario as a whole, he would much sooner realize how that little friction affected him. He didn’t realize straight away how he was satisfied by this.  

A low sound of pleasure escaped, and at that very moment there was no return. Harry was no longer even trying to be sensible about the situation. He was now driven by his own desire. He had just reached a point where he no longer could ignore the sexual satisfaction he was getting from this. Common sense, what would be best in this situation, any rational thinking was long gone when he spoke his first words since the massage started.   
“Harder, Lou…” His words were thick with arousal, but he hoped Louis wouldn’t notice.   
  
Louis surprisingly did as he were told, and as an effect of him putting more power into the massage again, he was moving faster on top of Harry. He created even more friction between Harry and the couch. At this point, Harry started to move in the same rhythm as Louis, grinding against the couch like a 13 years old boy that had just entered puberty.   
  
If Louis noticed even what was going on, he was ignoring it. If anything, it almost seemed like he started to move his hips very well aware of what was happening under him. Though Harry was sure that was just his mind playing tricks on him, letting him pretend that this was real. This moment that was so very sexual for him was probably every bit as platonic for Louis. Even with the sounds of pleasure Harry was letting out, not even shy about it anymore.  
  
Harry moaned once again. This time it was not a low moan, it was not in any ways a muffled moan. It was a sexual moan oozing with his arousal as his hips started to move even faster, thrusting against the couch at this point. He was completely breaking with Louis’ rhythm. He was closing in on the orgasm now. It was slowly building up inside him. The worst and best parts were the nerves, the feeling of doing something so inappropriate. This was not right, this was not normal.   
  
Harry grabbed a hold of Louis thigh, not quite sure what his intention was. He just tried to pull the guy closer to himself, but Louis didn’t take the hint, and that was probably for the best. Instead, he started moving faster too, really riding against his ass. And that was probably not for the best, but it didn’t really matter anymore.  
  
Then it happened. Harry bit down on his own arm, muffling a pleasure scream as he came in his own boxers, making a sticky mess. He was shaking beneath Louis, and for a few seconds his world was a blissful place without worries.   
  
“Harry?” Louis’ soft voice hit Harry after he had regained his breath and his heart had stopped beating like crazy. Well, the latter quickly started rising again.   
“Y-yes?” He was actually stuttering at this point, still on his stomach, face down on the couch with Louis on top of him.   
  
Silence filled the room, the clock ticking became painfully loud. A few intense seconds passed, Harry stopped breathing in anticipation, waiting for Louis’ reaction on what had just happened. But it never really came. It had seemed like he had something to say, but he stayed quiet. Harry just felt the weight lift off his body as Louis got up.   
  
“Lou?” Harry breathed while adjusting his face, making him lying in shelter of his arm. His cheeks were rosy, both from the orgasm and the embarrassment creeping in right now.   
“Harry,” Louis replied. He said it in a confirming way, but Harry didn’t know what it meant. He was all together very confused.     
  
“Should I go to my room and leave you to yourself?” Louis spoke softly. And he knew. It was obvious by the way he was acting now. He knew exactly what had happened, yet his words were so non-judgmental. He didn’t seem frightened from it, if anything he just sounded a little bit bewildered.   
  
“Yes, I would appreciate that.” Harry tried sounding casual, using his every day tone, but this situation was not casual. It was rather awkward on his part. They would usually just talk about anything problematic, but this was… this was something to suppress and hopefully never, ever speak of. 


	4. Chapter three

Things weren’t exactly great in the Styles/Tomlinson residence following the massage happening. Awkward would be an understatement in describing the mood between Harry and Louis. Harry felt he had mostly himself to blame. Louis took everything extremely well. It was as if it had never happened. Yet, he was considerate towards Harry, gave him the space he needed. 

During the week before New Year’s Eve, Harry spent two nights at a local motel. He brought two random women from a pub nearby, back to his room. They were both in their mid-thirties, but looked pretty okay. Of course he wanted to take advantage of the opportunity of being alone, and also called a few of the escorts on the web page he found his paid girls. 

Looking back at those days, Harry could feel a nauseating feeling deep in his stomach. Not about the random fucks or the pretty prostitutes. When having sex nonstop for 48 hours, he reached a point where he didn’t feel satisfaction anymore. Anger and frustration grew inside him until he almost slapped one of the girls as she was on her way out. That was not typical him, he didn’t want to be that way. He had treated the girls like shit, shouted and chased them away. 

After Harry returned to the apartment for the last three days of December, he avoided Louis at all costs, and it didn’t seem as if Louis minded. He was mostly busy anyway. Harry took a while off from the world, hardly checking his phone and pretty much isolating himself. He didn’t even have someone over for a fuck, because he was so scared and confused. Afraid it no longer did any good, afraid it had changed him into someone he didn’t want to be.   
Harry was lying on his bed when his bedroom door opened after a quick knock and Louis smiled to  
him for the first time in days. It was the 31st of December, the very last day of the year, and Harry  
didn’t even know if he wanted to enter a new year. Not like this.   
“We’re going out tonight, yeah? To Liam’s friend, right?”

Louis, oh perfect little Louis with his perfect little ass, standing in the doorway looking as dazzling as ever. Harry was certain this was his way of carefully trying to put the happening behind them. They had ignored it for enough time that it maybe, possibly had passed on its own. Louis was good with this kind of tactics. 

Harry shook his head, and threw a glance towards Louis before letting his eyes wander to the window instead.   
“I wasn’t planning on it, not quite in the mood,” he said honestly. He was not in the mood at all. Actually, it felt like he would never ever be in a good mood again.   
“Well, that’s the best reason I have heard to go to a party all year! You can’t be in a bad mood when we enter a new year, Harry.” Louis seemed like a ray of sunshine, in both the best and worst way possible. Warm, charming and happy, yet it was like a burning sensation in Harry’s eyes (and everywhere else. Mostly everywhere else). 

Louis must have seen Harry’s hesitant face, because he smiled brightly.   
“I’mma make it my mission to give you a good start on the year. Get up from bed now and take a shower, we have to leave a little early because of the damned traffic.” There was no point in arguing now, Louis had made up his mind, so Harry just got up, stretched and yawned before heading towards the bathroom.

“I knew I could persuade you into coming,” Louis sang happily, only to get a snort in reply from Harry. For once, Harry even locked the bathroom door and felt a bigger need for privacy than normal. Louis didn’t usually walk in on him, but today he didn’t even want to take the chance. Anything Louis all of the sudden remembered that he needed from the bathroom would have to wait until Harry was done and had returned to his bedroom. 

Harry stripped naked in just a flash of a moment and stepped into the shower. After his little self denial of sex, he was about to burst. In his mind, he was hoping this would help, that maybe his constant need of pleasure would pass. Just like alcoholics stopped drinking. Except Harry hoped he wouldn’t have a relapse if he ever got out of this shit and wanted to fuck someone again.

Naked. Harry was butt naked, all alone. Like a baby, except he wasn’t. He was not pure or innocent, he didn’t have a toothless grin or baby soft skin. Lately he hardly had a grin at all. He himself didn’t even quite understand what was going on inside of him. The only thing he understood was the unmistakable physical processes, the obvious reactions his body had on pretty much every situation he was in. Like the fact that he right now was about to burst. 

Water started running, and Harry made sure it would be cold. It was painful in the beginning, especially as the cold water ran through his hair, down his back. He liked it like that, in this very moment it was exactly what his needed. It was both a punishment and a great comfort.

No wanking in the shower. No release. No pleasure. It wasn’t really working out too well, but it felt good to feel bad. He had lost himself, and now he deserved to feel bad, he deserved to feel pain and discomfort. It was everything he needed, except it was nothing like what he needed.

After ten minutes, Harry was numb. His fingers, toes, his shoulders, his needs and his soul were all numb. He stepped out of the shower, and the air around him felt warm in contrast to the icy cold water that he had made colder and colder. No fog was on the mirror, and Harry could see his reflection right away, crystal clear and paining his eyes. His skin was surprisingly pale and his lips had gotten just a slight tint of blue.

With only a towel around his waist, Harry left the bathroom.   
“How much time do I approximately have?” Harry asked as he passed the door to Louis’ bedroom. He didn’t enter it, he didn’t wait for an answer from Louis, just continued to walk. He still heard when his roommate replied him through the walls of their apartment.  
“We leave when you’re ready, don’t take too long.” 

Harry didn’t reply, he just walked into his room. In the drawer of the bedside table he found half a bottle of whiskey that tasted shit, but he opened it anyway, drank right from the bottle, only a sip, before putting it down. 

Dress to impress wasn’t really a motto Harry lived by most of the time, but he was certain there would be photos taken today, and he didn’t want to look as shitty on the outside as he felt on the inside, so he put together an outfit that would work. Anything would work as long as he got his favourite pair of skinny jeans, but this worked extra well.

Some time passed. Harry ran a bit back and forth, and after getting dressed, brushing his teeth and successfully fixing his hair, he felt quite a bit more motivated to get out among people. He was not like a ray of sunshine like Louis was, he didn’t really feel like he was on his top game, but even though things were less than great, this would hopefully do him good. His rule number one was that socializing was never wrong. His friends and family were what kept him sane. 

Or maybe the rule didn’t really apply to this particular evening. Harry sat on his bed with the bottle in his hand, staring towards the window. When he took a sip from the bottle, he could hear the bedroom door open, but he didn’t move.   
“Starting without me, mate? Not cool.” Louis didn’t really mind it, though. Harry knew from the tone of his voice. He knew what Louis really thought and meant most of the time, just by his tone. That was how close the boys were.  
“Just having a little taste, gonna save the rest for later,” Harry said and got up, turned around. 

Louis, he looked like a god. He looked like the Greek god of sexiness, or maybe the Greek god of bubble butts or charm. Sexy tight suit pants, a white shirt and a cute little bowtie. His hair was messy; it looked like a bad hair day. Nothing suited Louis better than a bad hair day. Harry licked his lips, trying his best to stop staring.

As Harry put the bottle down on the bedside table, he knew this night couldn’t possibly end well. He hadn’t had a single fuck or wank in two days, there would be alcohol and lots of it tonight and Louis looked like he had literally just fallen out from his own wet dream. This looked very much like an upcoming disaster. 

 

”Why don’t I ever listen to you?” Things had turned out quite differently than Harry had expected. Right now Louis was the one to be drunk off his ass, just like Harry had warned him about after a few shots too many. That was quite the opposite of what he had predicted as they left their apartment earlier that evening. 

They were on the bathroom floor. The door was locked, and Harry was leaning up against the wall, quite drunk himself, with Louis’ head in his lap. He was lying dangerously close to his private parts. This was so good, so perfect. 

This was also absolutely horrendous. Just the fact that Harry had to try his best thinking of the nastiest stuff he knew, just to keep his member down. The queen naked, dirty underwear, dead puppies. Sadly, his drunken mind easily drifted away from the bad stuff and back into the sweet too-good-to-be-true reality, in which his friend was too close for his own good. Too close for anyone’s good, to be precise. His so very good friend was also really drunk, probably didn’t even notice that Harry was sporting a semi-hard cock. Probably wouldn’t mind either because he was such a careless drunk.

”Lou?” Harry spoke softly, but as Louis adjusted his head to look up at him, he realized he didn’t really have anything to say. He just wanted this precious boy’s full attention for a moment. Their eyes met, but the only thing filling the room was silence and it stayed like that for a while. Louis smiled up at Harry. His eyes were nearly closed, but the smile seemed so genuine and almost childlike, like he didn’t have a single worry in this entire world. 

“Harry?” Harry recognized this conversation, they had tried it before. Right after the little massage happening, their conversation had been similar to this, but this time he was positive it would be more successful. Well, successful in terms of being finished, or at least started on. Louis just seemed like he were going to say something. 

“Yeah?” Harry stroked his hand through Louis hair, knowing he wouldn’t mind. They had always been that kind of intimate with each other, never even thinking twice about it before their fans started reacting, spreading rumors.   
“Harry,” Louis repeated and smiled again, even wider, his eyes closed now. 

Harry was right, seconds after it came, the continuation he could foresee when this conversation first started. Everything he had tried to avoid this week.   
“Do I turn you on?” His words were a bit slurred from the alcohol and his lips were curved up in a smile that seemed almost careless, yet he sounded serious.   
“You’re drunk,” Harry remarked quietly. He knew Louis was referring to the massage happening, because his dick was hardly visible at all right now. It wasn’t exactly his favourite subject and it was an uncomfortable question to answer.

Surprise arose in Harry when Louis did his next move. All of a sudden, Louis had moved one of his beautiful small hands at Harry’s crotch, cupping his dick. Harry couldn’t think of a single reason to stop him right now.   
“Do I turn you on, Harold?”

Louis no longer smiled. His eyes were open again now. Harry opened his mouth to answer, but he was completely blank.   
“I- I- I…” He stuttered out in a hopeless attempt to answer. Louis was not just checking. No, his hand was moving. He was stroking Harry through the fabric of his jeans while closely watching him for some kind of response. It wasn’t really hard to get, considering the fact that Harry’s dick was in need of the attention and was quickly growing to make Louis aware of that. 

“Answer me, please.” In one movement, Louis unbuttoned the jeans and then zipped it down, moving his hand down the pants. Harry’s boxer was so thin, that he could feel every twitch of movement in the feminine hand touching him.

“No,” Harry finally murmured in denial. His eyes were only half open and his breathing was heavy now. His answer and his body’s reaction did not in any way correspond, and both Harry and Louis were well aware of that fact.   
“Don’t lie to me,” Louis breathed. 

Truth be told, Harry didn’t really consider it a lie. It was rather an avoidance of truth. Harry was not more turned on by Louis than by anyone else. At least that was what he was telling himself over and over again, even though flashes of Louis was running through his head when he fucked other people, and even though no one else made him just as crazy as Louis did. 

No, it was not a lie, because this was all his addiction. Like drugs made people dependent on money to get what they needed, Harry felt a bit wrongfully dependent on Louis for what he needed. It made perfect sense (or so Harry wanted to believe). 

“You’re dick is throbbing under my hand, I know you’re lying.” Louis sat up a bit, still with his hand down Harry’s pants. They were still sitting close and Louis was still a bit too drunk for it to really be okay that Harry didn’t stop him. 

But Harry was too busy to stop him right now. He was debating in his intoxicated mind. He understood that he had to come up with some sort of confession to Louis now, but what was the best one? Would he even be able to admit that he had quite the sex related problem? Would he be able to put in words how his body was constantly craving intimacy and touches, how he felt like he could hardly function without at least seven orgasms a day? Or was it better to pretend that this was all about Louis? That the only reason they were on the bathroom floor right now and he had a raging boner, was because of the little bubble butt he had to see around his apartment every single day? It was a tricky decision to make, but Harry concluded in the end. 

“Fine,” Harry said at last. It was barely audible, but he could see in Louis’ eyes that he had heard it. They were drunk and this was very strange and Harry’s heart was racing and this was just all too much. He was scared and nervous and horny and anxious all at once. But nothing bad happened. It was already too late for that, if Louis was going to react dramatically, he would have done it after the massage. Or during the massage. 

“Fine, what?” Louis asked, a smile playing in the corner of his mouth. He removed his hand, and Harry was stressing about it only for a second, before Louis’ hand moved to the waistband of his tight black boxers.   
“Y-you know,” Harry stuttered. He felt more vulnerable than he had felt in his entire life. His words were slurred from a mix of adrenaline, alcohol and desire, just waiting for Louis to leave the subject. And more importantly, waiting for Louis to just put his fingers around his cock already! 

“I want to hear you say it, Harry,” Louis whispered as he moved even closer. By the time he said Harry’s name, his lips was nearly touching Harry’s ear. He didn’t approve of Harry’s hesitation, so much was obvious.  
“Say it,” he whispered and made Harry shiver. 

“Y-you… oh lord, Louis Tomlinson, you make me so horny I’m about to… please just touch me, I can’t take it anymore.” Harry reached the point Louis had intentionally pushed him towards; desperation. Harry needed it and he needed it right now. Not even if he had fucked for 48 hours straight would he not need Louis at this point. 

The waistband of Harry’s boxers was pushed aside and his cock became visible, resting against his stomach. Louis moved his head to look, and while his eyes were on the penis, Harry’s eyes were studying the amused face of the person he really honestly loved the most in this world. 

Louis wrapped his hand around the erect dick, pumping it just a few times before looking wide eyed up at Harry, glowing from curiosity and amusement. This was obviously a first for Louis just as much as it was for Harry. Yet he seemed so much more at ease with it than Harry felt. More at ease with it than Harry had ever expected too. 

“Can I take it in my mouth?” When speaking, sounding a bit uncertain, Louis seemed so pure and innocent. Harry felt like he was dirtying something holy when he nodded and watched at Louis sank down, licking pre-cum off the head of the cock. 

Harry moaned low and bit his lower lip to stay quiet, like he always did. They were, after all, almost in public. There was a party going on right on the other side of the door. 

As Louis put the tip in his delicious mouth, Harry had to grab onto him for support. He felt dizzy as fuck too. All his blood had probably left his head and went south. At this moment Harry felt blessed to be as drunk as he was, or else he would probably have shot his cum into Louis’ mouth already. That would have been both embarrassing and kind of rude. 

Louis started impressing. He took Harry slowly deep into his mouth, showing off an unexpected hidden talent as if he was nominated to win a prize for it. He worked the dick in his mouth like it was something he did every other day. He sucked it hard and even gave Harry’s tender balls some attention, something almost no girls did. Harry loved it. 

“Oh my gooood,” Harry moaned out a bit too loudly, only to feel a hand pressing against is mouth. It only made the whole situation even more arousing. Louis were sucking him off, naturally talented. It was a bit sloppy, but he still did so much right that the faults were easy to ignore. 

Harry pulled a hand through Louis’ hair, keeping it there in the back of his head, twisted between the hairs and following the movement of Louis as he was taking the dick in and out of his mouth, sucking hard and giving out small sounds of enjoyment it seemed, himself.

For a moment, this truly felt like heaven. It felt like there couldn’t possibly be anything better in this entire world, than to be sucked off by your best friend who you also lived with. Hopefully in the morning, it could be blamed on a cloudy judgment. There was alcohol involved. 

A muffled moan escaped Harry and landed right in Louis hand. How that boy could do so many things at once seemed more amazing than when girls were multitasking with Harry. Everything Louis did just seemed so much better. 

Louis pressed two fingers in between Harry’s plump lips. Harry spent approximately one third of a second thinking before he took the fingers into his mouth, sucked on them as if it was a… something else. He was not gay, but right now he could suck on any part of Louis. 

Someone pounded on the door. It was not a careful knock; it was as if they were trying to break it. Louis jumped off Harry and breathed heavily, his lips glistening from spit. Harry tried to quickly get up on his feet. Someone was shouting something on the outside, but he was more focused on putting his jeans back on than listening. 

Another three hard pounds to the door. Harry shot a glance towards the mirror.   
“You’ve been in there for ages, open up!” Harry ignored the voice, sounding a lot like Liam. He also ignored Louis’ eyes on him for a while. He kept eye contact with his mirror image, acknowledging that he looked like a total mess. 

Finally, Harry looked at Louis and then at the door. Louis was far steadier now than when they walked into the bathroom. He also had an expression on his face that Harry had never seen before. 

Harry put a hand on the door handle. Before he unlocked the door with the intention of returning to the party, his eyes wandered down Louis’ body. His best friend stood beside him with an obvious bulge in his pants.


	5. Chapter four

”3… 2… 1…” And then the whole room exploded into cheering and exchanging hugs and kisses while wishing each other happy new year. Harry stood frozen on the floor and his eyes were glued to the slim little body of Louis. He watched as he smiled wide and celebrated this moment with chugging down his drink. And then another one of the same sugary drink, both going straight down.  
  
Their eyes met. Harry and Louis were locked in eye contact, and now they both froze on each side of the room. The room was noisy; they didn’t even bother to try communicating verbally over the sound of everyone’s cheering. Yet it was as if there was no one else there.  
  
Louis broke eye contact as his eyes wandered from Harry to the door. Harry’s eyes followed, and then looked at Louis again. His gaze was met by eyes that even felt warm even from all the way across the living room, and then he nodded gently. No words needed to be exchanged for either of them to know that they were about to leave.  
  
By the time Harry and Louis was outside, a cab was already called. In Harry’s drunken mind there was nothing wrong or unusual about this. He didn’t feel nervous, even though their entire friendship was at stake. In his defense was this all Louis’ initiative. At least that’s what Harry excused this with.  
  
When they walked down the driveway, they had quite the distance between them. They spoke no words, but both knew. Harry knew the party was far from over, he knew Louis wanted something, and whatever it was, he would get it and everything else Harry could possibly give him.  
  
The cab rolled up without the boys having to wait for more than a good twenty seconds, and they both jumped into the back seat. Louis gave away their address before he put his hand casually on Harry’s thigh. Even as little as the touch was, it made Harry hold his breath, and Louis noticed the little reaction. Knowingly or not, Louis had total control over the situation right now. In this moment, he had all the power over Harry.    
  
”Harry?” Louis spoke softly, leaning closer to Harry so that he could almost whisper and still be heard. His hand grabbed a tighter grasp of Harry’s thigh, but his fingers crept high up on the inside.  
“Yeah?” Harry breathed, conflicted about whether or not he should stop Louis’ hand. After all, they were in a cab.  
  
“I’m so… so, so drunk right now,” Louis said and his head fell to Harry’s shoulder. It was at that moment Harry realized that what he was about to do with his very best friend was immoral. The worst part was that even  though Harry was fully aware of that fact, there was absolutely no doubt in his mind that the second they were behind the locked door of the apartment, he would fuck the petite body of Louis’ into his mattress so hard it would be imprinted into it forever thereafter.  
  
“Me too,” Harry murmured even though he felt just fine. Not overly drunk at all, just a slight buzz. Most of his intoxication came from the lust (among other things) that went through his body when he was this close to Louis.  
  
“Harry?” Louis said once again. He already had Harry’s full attention, but he didn’t say or do anything before he got another verbal response from him. So Harry spoke a soft “yeah?”, and their eyes met for a brief moment before Louis’ thin lips curved up in a small smile and his eyes fell to Harry’s lap.  
  
And then Harry stopped breathing. All of the sudden, Louis’ little hand was no longer on his inner thigh. Louis was straight out cupping the outline of Harry’s still hard cock that was a captive in way too skinny jeans for this kind of activities. Harry was at a complete loss of words as Louis put a slight pressure on it, stroked in discretely. They were in a cab. It was crazy. Harry was trying his very best to control his heavy breathing, and Louis definitely liked it.  
  
Right? Louis wouldn’t do this if not. Harry tried to justify this in his mind in any way he could, because he wanted it so bad. This was completely unexpected, but definitely exactly what he wanted. For the last few days, maybe weeks of his life there had been nothing he wanted more.  
  
“This is our secret, Harry,” Louis murmured against his shoulder, almost making Harry shudder. It was so wrong, yet how could it really be so bad if they both wanted it?  
  
“Take off your jacket,” Louis suddenly said, and Harry was confused for a moment, not knowing what Louis wanted or was thinking of doing, but after a few seconds he went along with it anyway.  
“We can’t… you know… right here,” Harry said unsure, but his words were not very convincing. He’d love to fuck Louis up and down all over this back seat, without a doubt.  
  
“Shhh, just stay quiet.” Before Harry had time to think about it, his jacket was lying casually in his lap and his pants were undone. Harry knew it was a good ten minutes left of the taxi ride. He also knew that he wanted Louis’ touch so bad he was seriously concerned he would faint without it. He felt lightheaded and his stomach was twirling with intense anticipation.  
  
Just anticipation, nothing more than anticipation, no feelings of anything but intense lust because he was an addict that needed his rush. His orgasm, his endorphins. He told himself that, over and over again. He didn’t want Louis; he just wanted a petite little body with a tight little asshole and a delicious bubble butt to go along with it. It was just his addiction making him want to fuck everything around him, he wasn’t even really gay. He’d just been around Louis so much, gotten too much time to watch his ass, Louis was his bend. Straight with a bend, and Louis little ass was the bend.    
  
Harry regretted putting on such tight pants, because it made it harder for Louis to just sneak his hand into them. Yet he managed to do it at last, and Harry could feel Louis grip around his aching cock, but he didn’t move his hand, which almost make it worse. Louis just looked up at him, searching for eye contact. And he got what he wanted.  
  
“Eleanor did this to me once,” he said in a low voice. It was a strange mention, Harry had to admit that. Yet, the mental image of Louis being the one having a bulge under the jacket in the back of the car was not a nasty sight.  
  
“Your girlfriend?” Harry felt his stomach flop a bit as he spoke the word out loud, feeling things just getting more and more wrong and immoral (of course, his stomach flop had nothing to do with jealousy). But Louis shook his head.  
“She’s just a someone; it’s nothing exclusive… at least not anymore. Conflict of interest.” Louis said the last sentence as if it had a deeper meaning that Harry would understand, but he didn’t. Nor did he think too much about it, because any string of thoughts that might have been about to run through his head was quickly interrupted by Louis’ hand starting to move.  
  
  
The front door swung open and two unsteady young lads walked in. By the time the door was closed, Harry and Louis had already collided into a kiss, breaking every rule about it in Harry’s mind already. Locked together in a kiss, they stumbled over the shoes lying on the floor as they clumsily moved further into the apartment.  
  
Louis broke the kiss as he was pushed up against the wall of the living room. His heavy eyes looked glassy; the lust was evident in his face. Of course, Harry would’ve known even if he was blind, based on Louis needy grinding against his own groin.  
  
“My room or yours?” Louis’ word was spoken against the full lips of Harry. It wasn’t a hard question to answer, Harry just threw a glance towards the bedroom hallway. His own door was closest. By nothing more than 20 inches, but still 20 inches longer before he could get what he wanted. But then again, the couch was even closer.  
  
Harry took a hold of Louis, pulled him by the jacket towards the couch while he himself was walking backwards. Well, that was until he wasn’t. Louis had suddenly stumbled in the rug and fell towards Harry who immediately lost his balance and landed on the floor.  
  
If Harry hadn’t been close to piss drunk it would maybe hurt the way he fell on his ass with Louis on top of him. The alcohol was numbing, and he could hardly feel it. But he could feel the weight of Louis in his lap, and watched him as he removed his jacket and threw it across the room.  
  
“I- I’m sorry,” Louis stuttered and suddenly seemed hesitant and uncertain. This didn’t go as he had imagined and he didn’t seem comfortable with the sudden change of events. Luckily, Harry knew exactly how to comfort his best friend, and gave him a warm reassuring smile before pulling him into another kiss. Okay, so maybe the kiss was a new trick, but Harry did always find a way to make Louis secure, happy and whatever he wanted.  
  
Harry considered saying something, but it was easier to break the awkward silence with a kiss. That way he didn’t even have time to feel bad. He avoided asking Louis if he really was okay with this, because he was so afraid of rejection. Louis could change is mind at any point, but in reality he couldn’t. It would drive Harry to madness. Louis had no clue, but to Harry it felt like he needed this to survive. He was sure he was on verge of collapse  
  
There was no need to worry. As they came closer and closer to the floor, the room between them became non-existing. And by then Harry got (for the millionth time that night) proof that Louis wasn’t entirely unwillingly. His boner was pressed against Harry’s thigh. This was not all his idea, Louis wanted it too. He had to want it.  
  
Harry could hardly breathe. His body was craving this; his hunger for Louis was unbearable. The sweet kisses they shared tasted of the sugary drink Louis had before they left the party and his heavy breathing hit Harry’s cheek.  
  
“I need you… it.” Harry said in between kisses. He could no longer contain himself, and his big hands were rightfully placed on each of Louis’ firm butt cheeks, grasping and groping like he had wanted to do for ages. He pulled the tiny body closer to his own and the slight friction it caused against his own groin made him whimper from need an pleasure.  
  
“It?” Louis lifted his head and gave Harry a challenging look, but Harry shook his head. His hips made a thrust up against Louis’ body, and they both knew what Harry had meant and needed.  
“Don’t you dare playing with me, Tomlinson.”  
  
Louis gave in, as easy as that. The little playful spark left the corner of his eyes, and was replaced with something else. Something that was unknown for Harry. Louis moved down his body, started to kiss, suck and bite carefully on his neck, which was an absolute soft spot for Harry. His body was trembling and he couldn’t contain his moans any longer.  
  
Louis started unbuttoning Harry’s shirt as he moved away from his neck and further down his body. Harry’s eyes were only halfway open, and he was in a state of bliss like no other. It was not long ago that he didn’t even know that this was something he wanted. But he knew now, oh he knew. His whole body was so filled with that knowing, that anything else was squeezed out of him. It felt like he didn’t know of anything other than the existence of Louis as a sexual being and his need for it right now.  
  
“Stop,” Harry nearly moaned out as Louis had stopped unbuttoned his shirt and instead was unzipping Harry’s pants with his face ready to bury himself between the legs. Louis eyes found their way to Harry’s flushed face and he smiled an intoxicated smile.  
  
“Hm?”

“Don’t suck me off… oh my God and Satan in hell and heaven…” Harry’s voice became shaky as he spoke because of Louis’ simple action of cupping his hard on.  
“I want to fuck you so hard right now, Lou. Let me fuck you, I _need_ to fuck you.” Harry just said fuck three times in one breath of air before he sat up and looked at his best friend who was lying between his legs.  
  
“That’s not a very nice way to ask for something… or not to ask for something… or something.” Louis still seemed pretty drunk and a little confused, but still playful enough that Harry could ignore the doubt that was visible in the face he was staring at. Then again, Louis had that little spark in his eyes, he were almost smiling. What he said didn’t mean much, but that smile was all Harry needed to be excused.  
  
Harry twisted his legs around Louis before he rolled them around so Louis was lying flat on the floor and Harry was on top of him, slowly opening his pants.  
“Please… oh fuck, you’re so gorgeous. Please let me fuck you, Louis. That tight little bubble butt of yours, holy shit.”  
  
All of the sudden Louis was giggling. A childish giggle that had no place in a situation like this one, but it was still so suiting. He was obviously laughing of Harry’s desperation, but Harry himself just couldn’t contain himself any longer. He was begging with his pants undone and his shirt half way unbuttoned.    
  
Then it happened, the happening that was going to remove any hesitation and bad conscience from Harry (if only for tonight). Louis grinned and nodded now, all his white teeth visible. It was an alluring sight for Harry, he couldn’t deny it.  
“Bring it on, babe.”

Louis’ pants and underwear was off within seconds, and more than a few buttons jumped across the living room when the shirt was ripped off. Harry had to take a moment to just stare on the naked body before him while he pulled off his own shirt.  
  
Louis’ cock was not the biggest in the world, but it was absolutely beautiful resting against his stomach, rock hard. Harry just had to take in this view, because there was no guarantee that he would see this again.  
  
Harry put two fingers in his mouth, and they soaked with his saliva he pulled them out again when he moved over Louis and gave him a soft kiss now, everything moving in s low motion in his head as one finger found his way to the tight opening and slowly moved inside Louis.  
  
Harry moaned lowly into the kiss as he entered a whole new territory. He had tried anal sex before, but this was completely different. This was with Louis. This was with a guy.  
“So tight,” he whispered against Louis’ lips. He was almost dizzy because he was so turned on, yet he felt like he couldn’t rush this. Louis had to like it, he had to be gentle.   
  
Harry started to fuck Louis with his finger, slowly moving it in and out. And then another finger. Louis seemed to like it. He tried to grasp after Harry’s dick to stroke him, but he seemed too distracted to go through with it. His lower lip was between his teeth, he could no longer share a kiss with Harry. He could just try to keep quiet.  
  
“Now,” Louis gasped out. Harry knew it was a little too soon, he knew they should have had lube, but he didn’t care and none of that mattered as he pulled his pants off. Louis was going to get what he wanted, what he asked for. Harry convinced himself that this was a favor to his best friend who was directly asking for it.  
  
Harry removed his fingers and pulled his cock out of his boxers. He looked down on Louis’ face as he pointed his erection towards the opening, the tip was dribbling with pre cum. Slowly he pushed inside, watching the face beneath him struggle between pain and pleasure.  
  
“Are you okay?” Harry was fully inside, leaning over Louis. His hips wanted nothing more than to move, the tight feeling around him was heaven on earth. But he had to keep his priorities straight. Just because he failed to be straight himself, obviously.  
  
Louis shook his head. As in no. And for a moment Harry got nervous, more nervous he thought he could be when he was drunk. In general he wasn’t a nervous person, and at least not when he was drinking.  
  
“Don’t stop,” Louis said moments later. It was obvious that it was a bit painful, but his words comforted Harry. It wasn’t that bad. The pleasure was drowning the pain. And Harry was in no way hard to ask.  
  
Harry started thrusting his hips, moving slowly in and out of Louis while moaning from the pleasure. And at some point, Harry’s intention of being gentle was long gone. His craving for animalistic sex became overbearing and he couldn’t control himself.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shame on me for taking so long! I deserve a smack, this was not very hard to write so I have no excuses. Didn't turn out as good as I had wished for, but OH WELL SORRY!! :( xx


	6. Chapter five

_Louis’ back was arched against the mattress, his fingers disappeared as he grasped the white sheets of the bed. His eyes were barely open and his body was glistening from the sweat as he was fucked for the third time that night. Thin lips were parted and what had started out as quiet whimpers of pleasure, was now full grown moans._  
  
Harry had to escape. He had woken up without knowing if he was living his dream or his biggest nightmare, but he ran out. Louis was left naked in his bed. No notes, no goodbyes.  
  
Harry sat behind the wheel of his car; he was parked on the side of the road. He didn’t know where he was going, he only knew two things; he couldn’t stay away forever and he couldn’t get his mind off what has happened.  
  
 _“Harder, Ha-ah…” Louis was begging for it while he was on all four on the bed. Harry was buried in his ass and didn’t hesitate to follow Louis’ wish.  
  
_ Harry felt lost. He didn’t know where to run, he didn’t know where to hide. What was supposed to just be a part of his imagination, had all of a sudden turned into reality. He had touched, felt and almost breathed Louis. Even now, even when he was several miles away from home, he hardly dared to take in too much air, because the smell of Louis was everywhere. It was in his clothes, on his skin, in his hair. Louis was everywhere.  
  
 _Louis hit a higher note while having an orgasm than he did on stage, it seemed. His body was trembling from the ecstatic feeling rushing through his body, quickly followed by Harry’s own orgasm._  
  
 _Harry withdrew from Louis’ opening, and collapsed over him after what had been the third, or maybe forth orgasm. He wasn’t sure, his head was spinning around and around, his thoughts were on a carousel._  
  
 _“Harry?” Louis voice was hoarse, yet so soft and caring. He didn’t seem scared or confused, the hesitation he had earlier that night was long gone. Their faces were close, and they were both breathing heavily. Harry didn’t want to reply him, he didn’t want to talk. He was afraid. Harry was scared shitless, he felt as if he was losing his mind._  
  
 _“Harry,” Louis repeated, but this time it wasn’t in a questioning tone. He didn’t demand a response before he continued speaking._  
 _“For how long?”_  
  
Harry started up the car, turned on the radio and tried to block out every thought of Louis with the volume on max. The Cure’s “Friday I’m in love” blasted through the stereo. This was simply not the best way to start the New Year.  
  
The car was back on the road, and Harry was headed toward a small local motel outside the city. While driving, he texted the address and a time to a number saved under “the Gilbert girl”.  
  
 _“Answer me, Harry,” Louis murmured. Harry avoided eye contact the best he could, even when Louis’ small hand came to his face, fingers finding their way in his hair, and his thumb stroking the cheekbone tenderly._  
 _“I don’t know what you mean,” Harry lied in hope that Louis wouldn’t actually spell it out for him. This was after all not their usual friendly activity._  
  
 _“Yes you do,” Louis said before his tongue ran over his lower lip quickly. Harry’s eyes were placed on the lips that had turned more and more red and puffy during the night._  
 _“How long have you wanted to do what we just did?”_  
  
Harry cursed quietly, felt his cheeks blush from the scenes that was playing over again in his head, even though he was all alone. The ghost of the night wouldn’t leave him alone, and he didn’t want the reminders.  
  
 _“Stop it Lou,” Harry said in a dismissive tone and pulled away from the body he had longed for the past few weeks, maybe months. Harry rolled around to his back and kept quiet. He didn’t know. He didn’t want to know. From deep within him, he felt a strong discomfort. He felt sick. Just as he always did after he was done fucking some slut. But this time it was for a whole other kind of reason._  
  
  
  
The car was parked outside the motel and Harry had gotten a room key, but he was still sitting by the entrance, which barely qualified as a lobby. He’d been sitting there for the last 15 minutes, casually checking the watch around his wrist every now and then.  
  
Truth be told, this was not a good time to be around people. Harry quite frankly felt a bit troubled about what had happened during the night. One thing was having fantasies, but it was a whole other story to actually go through with them.  
  
Harry needed someone to prove to him that he wasn’t crazy, he wasn’t ruined and most importantly, he wasn’t gay. Then, right on time, Harry could see a blonde woman walk through the door. He was quickly up on his feet and smiled as she walked up to him.  
“Louise,” he said calmly in a greeting manner, and she replied with a low “Mr. Gilbert” in response.  
  
Harry was happy that words were not needed with Louise, or any other hooker for that matter. They knew what was going down. He just showed her around the corner and through a corridor, until they were by the door to the room he had paid for.  
  
“Why so serious today, baby?” Louise’s hand moved slowly along his back, and she smiled a warm smile, was calmer than she used to, less energetic.  
“I’m always serious,” Harry replied briefly as he unlocked the door and opened it to her, being a gentleman and letting the lady go first.  
  
“Come on, give me that famous grin of yours!” Harry had liked Louise from the first day they met, but right now he didn’t even know why. Maybe this was a sign he had met her one too many times and been maybe just a little too nice and welcoming her into his life too much. Which only meant one thing right now: he had to push her away and set limits.  
  
“I don’t mean to be rude, but can you please shut up and do what I pay you to do.” His voice was low, but his message was clear. He showed no emotions, even though true fear was rushing through him. He was scared that he had ruined his friendship with Louis, he was scared of looking at his best friend the same way he looked at girls. He was also scared he had given the wrong signals to Louise. He didn’t want that.  
  
It used to be so unlike Harry to act like he did towards Louise right now. He used to be so polite and opposed objectifying women. But Harry was lost in his own contempt of himself. He never felt clean anymore, he never felt safe, and he never felt comfortable. He had become a monster driven by sex. It was taking over his life and it was taking over him. Therefore, Harry acted out his hate and contempt for himself on other people that was like him.  
  
“Get to it then,” Harry said and put one hand on Louise’s shoulder to push her to her knees in front of him. Luckily, Louise was a clever girl who knew to take a hint, so she went down on her knees and started unbuckling Harry’s belt, ready for warm up.    
  
It was a big relief when Harry finally could close his eyes and escape from everything in exchange for a moment of pleasure. He could for a moment hide from the emotions he didn’t know how to deal with, or even recognize at all. His sexual frustration was now accompanied by frustration caused by sex, sex with his closest friend. Yet he figured sex maybe was the cure as well. Maybe Louise could show Louis the way out of his head.  
  
Even when Louise started blowing him, Harry didn’t feel present. He was everywhere but here, still feeling drunk, even though he had stopped drinking by midnight. He felt nauseated too, even though he didn’t have a hangover. He didn’t know if it was caused by Louise or Louis, love or hate.  
  
“Harry?” Louise spoke, but Harry barely registered it.  
  
 _“Harry?” Louis stretched out his arm and stroked Harry’s back carefully, but he didn’t get any response, so he crawled closer to him. Soon thereafter Harry felt a hand sneak over his waist and rest at his stomach, and suddenly he was spooning with Louis._  
  
 _“Harry?” Louis repeated in a soft whisper against Harry’s neck._  
  
Harry jumped when Louise almost smacked him to get in touch with him even though they were in the same room.  
“Harry, this isn’t working,” Louise said in a sad and almost comforting voice, which made him lower his eyes and look down on her. He wasn’t getting hard. Even after being inside her mouth for several minutes, nothing happened.  
  
Harry felt humiliated, but even more than that he felt confused. For ages he had struggled with constantly needing the sexual release, but now he couldn’t even get it up.  
“We’re done here,” Harry said as he pulled up his pants and gave Louise cash from his back pocket.  
  
 _“Hm?” Harry answered a little unwillingly, but he did answer in the end. Truth be told, he was curious about what Louis had to say after being fucked once on the living room floor and twice on the bed._  
 _“You don’t have to feel bad for making me feel good.”_  
  
  
  
Harry tried to quietly enter the apartment. He was nervous and didn’t feel good at all, but he hoped that maybe Louis still was asleep. He hadn’t been gone for too long, really. And after all Louis usually could sleep through anything. Maybe his little getaway could pass unnoticed.  
  
It was a short lived wish. As Harry was trying to carefully move through their apartment, he found Louis sleeping on the couch. On his way back, Harry had tried to think of ways to make all of this go away, he even thought he might have had a plan, but now he once more felt lost.  
  
Harry sank to his knees by the couch while taking in the sight of Louis. So peaceful, a little bit of drool was collecting in the corner of his mouth and it was almost as if he half smiled in his sleep. Harry was mesmerized by the beauty that was Louis Tomlinson.  
  
A faint smell of alcohol hit Harry’s face as he put it next to Louis’. But he didn’t look at the face that was breathing on his. His eyes wandered down the naked chest of Louis. It had a few scratch marks barely visible along the rib cage. Harry couldn’t help himself and just had to touch. He let his index finger trace the marks up the chest. And then float through the chest hairs that were only barely there. His thumb slightly stroked along the bruising on Louis’ neck as well. He never usually left hickeys, but in the heat of the moment he had just wanted to mark his territory. Louis was his to own.  
  
Harry withdrew his hand and all physical contact once Louis suddenly moved on the couch. For a split second, Harry was sure Louis would stay asleep, but he was wrong. A low groan of discomfort escaped his lips and his eyebrows furrowed just a bit before his eyes cracked open.  
  
For a few seconds no one said anything, but to Harry it felt like agonizing hours. He wanted to throw up and faint and just simply die all at once. As he was holding his breath, Louis was drawing in air to say something, before most of it came out again without a sound. Except one simple whisper: “Harry?”  
  
Harry who? Harry had never in his entire life felt suspense like the kind that was building up now. It was one hundred percent crazy. He was going crazy. This whole situation was insane.  
“Are you okay?” Harry was impressed that he managed to squeeze those three words out, because it felt like he was about to collapse.  
  
“No,” Louis replied and pouted. Harry pulled away, ready to escape. Ready to jump of a bridge, overdose and shoot himself all at the same time. Whatever was the quickest solution. But before he managed to do anything even slightly drastic, Louis continued.  
“I’m so fucking sore and have burns on my back after fucking on the floor and a hangover from hell… and where the fuck have you been? I’ve been worried sick, you little piece of shit.”  
Relief. Every part of Harry started relaxing, even his tensed up shoulders. Even his lips. He still felt confused, but all discomfort disappeared. He could finally breathe without suffocating on his own self hate and shame.  
  
Louis stretched out one arm, inviting Harry closer. The distance between them was in no way big, but Harry still removed it as he came closer. Actually, he came very close. Still seated on the floor, he let his head down on the same pillow Louis rested his head on.  
  
“Where have you been?” Louis’ words were soft now, nothing like before. He had activated his comforting tone. The one he used to the youngest girls they encountered. Oh, and when people was crying. Which made Harry want to cry. He really, really, really wanted to cry. This right here was the moment to let it all out. The tears started stinging in his eyes, but they were building up so slowly that it was barely noticeable in the beginning.  
  
“I am broken.” Harry became hoarse from all the emotion. He was shaking as well, especially when he looked into the patient eyes of his wet dream, best friend and fellow band mate.  
“I have lost myself, Lou…”  
  
It is never easy admitting something you feel shameful about. Sad and angry feelings are usually easier to put into words, but shame can eat you up. Harry felt like only crumbs of himself were left. Every word that could express his problems in a clear manner, were words that made him sick. Addiction, nymphomaniac and god forbid “inhabiting gay tendencies”, it was all bad. Wrong. Too hard to put in his mouth and say.  
  
“I don’t understand, Harry. Let me in properly and I’ll try to make everything okay.” Louis comforting words were not really comforting at all, but his gentle touch as his thumb dried one of Harry’s tears passed by as a symbol to Harry. Louis was right here with him, in the ruins of what used to be Harry Styles of One Direction.  
  
“I can’t,” Harry almost choked out, and started sobbing. He was crying for real now. No single tear running down his cheek. All sluices opened.  
“There’s nothing in there. I’m i-i-icy cold.”  
  
“Is this about what happened last night?” Louis asked, but gave no time to reply before he drew in air and was ready to speak again.  
“You don’t have to worry about that for a second, baby. Not even a teeny tiny bit.”  
  
“I’m an addict,” Harry whispered. His voice was so low that Louis needed several seconds to even understand the words, but when he did his eyes grew wide. Wider than expected, Harry felt like he had to say the words he dreaded before any assumptions were made.  
“Sex addict.”  
  
 The room went quiet. Harry’s crying was the only sound audible at that moment. And it was such a sore moment. It was so obvious that he was hurting, but Louis didn’t respond much. It almost seemed like he was waiting. Harry felt pressured to say more, but it was so hard finding the words.   
  
”I… you… no one will understand what kind of hell I’m going through,” Harry started, and as he spoke, Louis was caressing his curls. It was unexpected, but Harry was too lost in the conversation to take much notice.  
”Sometimes all I can think about is fucking you, Louis. I’ve gone mad.”  
  
A slight smile was visible in the corner of Louis’ mouth, if only for a brief second as he heard Harry’s words filled with hurt and discomfort. Harry couldn’t understand why, he felt for a moment that Louis didn’t understand the seriousness of the situation.  
  
”Don’t look at me like that. You don’t know what it’s like to want to throw up every time you’re done fucking some slut. You don’t know what it’s like to wank every hour of the day and still wake up twice during the night with the stiffies.” Harry was beginning to feel frustrated now, pulling back just a little bit. Louis did once again have a little curve of his mouth.  
  
”This isn’t funny, Louis. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t control myself. I- I don’t know what to do anymore.” Harry had almost stopped crying, but he had to bite down on his puffy pink lower lip to stop it from quiver.  
  
Louis’ arms were in no way muscular, but he still managed to pull Harry close once more.  
“I think about your hard cock and getting fucked by it every time I see you. Which is a lot of the time during a day, Harry. Am I an addict too?”  
  
So that’s why Louis was smiling…  
“No, but-“  
“No buts, Harry. Do you feel the same about the other boys?” Harry shook his head. Never in a million years would he ever think like that about any of the other in the band.  
  
“When did you last wank, fuck or whatever? When did you last come?” This was such an awkward conversation. If Harry’s cheeks weren’t already pretty pink from the crying, he would probably blush, at least a little bit.  
“I don’t know… when we… y’know.”  
  
“Have you felt any urges since then?” Louis asked the most awkward questions of all time, but he did it in such a relaxed way that Harry didn’t feel _too_ uncomfortable answering. Even though it was a little embarrassing.  
“Maybe a little… Not really. I tried meeting up with a… friend. But I didn’t work.” In other words, he didn’t get an erection, but that was just too much information to not wrap in little codes.  
  
“In other words, you haven’t had an orgasm for almost 8 hours. And you haven’t felt an immediate need for it,” Louis concluded, before his lips surprisingly brushed over Harry’s cheek, drying up a single tear.  
  
“I think we might have found a cure for your addiction,” Louis whispered with a little smile now. Harry was not sure, but it almost seemed a little flirtatious.  
“And we’ve established that I suffer from a few of the same symptoms as you, so this might just work out good for the both of us.”  
  
Harry became a little confused. Not because he didn’t understand where Louis were going with this, but because it was so surreal that he just couldn’t really wrap his head around it.  
“Are you saying-“ Louis pressed a finger against Harry’s soft lips before he nodded.  
“I’m saying that you should shut up and kiss me.”  
  
And Harry did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a while, but I am finally finished! It's been forever since I last managed to write a chaptered fic, so I am satisfied even though the outcome probably could have been a little better. Anyways, thaaaank you for reading! I really appreciate it a lot. :)


End file.
